Returning with a map predicament. HELP.

I think I forgot I had a blog for the past couple months. Kind of like how I forgot about the second piercings in my ears for half a year. Don’t worry, they didn’t close up.

I’m reviving the blog with a cry for help, something I typically find entirely and irrationally too difficult to do.

Let me bring you up to speed with a little story inspired by Laura Numeroff…

If you give three girls a house with a fireplace, they’re going to ask for a map to hang above it.

If you give them a map, they’re going to ask for some plywood to mount it.

If you give them a piece of plywood, they’re going to need it cut down to size.

If you trim the board to size, they’re going to want some paint to color the wood black.

Once it’s painted, they’re going to want some spray adhesive to secure the map to the plywood.

If you help them adhere the map, they’re going to want some Modge Podge (the glossy type, please) for a shiny, finished look.

Once the map project is finished, they’re going to want to mount it to the wall.

And here’s where the cliff hanger presents itself…

Based on a friend’s recommendation we’ve tried liquid nailing a couple small blocks of wood to the back of the plywood (allowing it to set overnight)… then attached hanging hardware to the wood blocks and were able to successfully hang the map on the wall for a total of 1.3 hours before the plywood pulled apart from the wood blocks and crashed to the hearth quite ungracefully, our hopes of ever succeeding in mounting this map plummeting with it.

Where did we go wrong?

The plywood is thin, so we’re afraid it will split if we try to nail anything into it. And the map came all the way from Seattle, so we really, really do not want to scrap it and start over. Besides, quit is not part of our vocabulary here at the Summerlin house.

Seriously, help some girls out. We can pay in cereal or alcohol swabs or frozen bananas or bags of leaves. Enticing, I know.